HopE

2010-07-08T20:44:00.002+08:00

Oh my tian, this evening was tragic! i am so not good at words MAN!! not even good at expressing myself... haiz.. nvm.

Why penguins are black only at the back and white in front?

Ans: cause their hands are too short!! to wash their back!

2010-06-29T21:38:00.002+08:00

WOOHOO! it's been so long since I been here. well, the main reason is because of the lack of supply of JOKES! haha! haiz, basically i moved on to TJC and i believe GOD place me there for a purpose, and i hope not only to fulfil it, but also to grow deeply in my walk with GOD yea! Now, i am busy with my JCTs and i believe many of you in JCs are having the same fate. so hope this two jokes ( quite lame de...) may brighten up any of your day if you are reading this:)

有一只鸭，它很健康，又会游泳。但是它跳进水里。为什么会死掉？

Ans: 因为它想自杀， haha!

什么时候 1 + 1 不 = 2？

Ans: 算错的时候，hahahahaha!

2010-02-11T20:40:00.002+08:00

how do prawns laugh??

Ans: hei hei hei ( hei is prawn in hokkien)

how do fishes laugh??

Ans: hel hel hel ( hel is fish in hokkien)

who is optimus prime's parent?

Ans: transparent...

2010-01-24T23:47:00.002+08:00

Ah, it's been so long since I posted on the blog cos i prefer having doing it on the book.. yea, so i guess this place would remain as a joke archive for me and my frens and hope they can cheer everyone up. Many things had happened throughout the days i didnt post and i shall not post it bah...

Why superman's shirt so tight??

Ans: cos it's S sized..

then why batman's shirt so tight??

Ans: cos Superman bought one for him

then why spiderman's shirt so tight??

Ans: cos it was a buy 2 get 1 free promotion, so superman gave him the free one...

2009-11-26T19:59:00.002+08:00

GOD IS GREAT AND AWESOME MAN!! can someone say AMEN?! yea, i just finished ignytion and it was a totally unique and exciting experience. it was my first time doing street evangelism and i managed to do quite well!! thanks to my partner, DARREN. We managed to share Christ with over 10 people and it was just amazing to see how GOD moves through this event and really hope I can speak and share with people about GOD more confidently after this! YEA MAN!!

Alright, which person in a hawker centre is the strongest???

Ans: the one that sells wanton mee ( to know.. one tonne-wanton)

Well, to those out who never got the chance to hear about GOD's love, do not walk away when someone shares about it, because, 'you will never know if you walk away..'

2009-11-08T22:58:00.002+08:00

Oh, though i am still having my exams, i am still posting!! haha! yea but it's quite alright i guess. it's gonna be the last week of our exams(for most of us) and i am pretty relaxed now but i know i cannot 松懈 now, haha! but i am posting to continue to share more jokes!!

actually, i made this up, so it maybe a little 'colder' than the others.

东南西北, which one is always very bored??

Ans: 北！( cos 北朝鲜(North korea)- 北超sian!!)

haha, for those taking O lvls out there, continue to jia you man!! all the best and GOD bless:)

2009-11-04T22:42:00.003+08:00

WAH! i changed the title of my BLOG eh. not bad right! now i am in the midst of my O lvls and today's physic didnt went as smoothly as the other papers... oh.. the feel of confidence just not there sia. but nvm lah, i am gonna make use of my bio to boost my confidence man!! POWER!!( P= workdone/time) so i jus hav to work hard for my BIO(work done) for the next two days!(time) and.... the result is POWER-FULL le!! haha! super lame... well, i think we must hav confidence in everything we do and lets not lose heart and for the time is near... before we will rejoice tgt and praise HIM!!

Stay close to GOD and jia you for those taking O lvls!
those who are not, well.. good night! haha!

A and C which one is shorter??
Ans: A ( ABCD = A比C低)

2009-10-30T20:18:00.002+08:00

one week of O lvl has just past.. well, we had English and maths this week and i think i went pretty well for me lah. must really thank GOD for giving me the calmness and peace i need, cos i was really scared on the first few days!! i went to the toilet 3 times every day! but i still can tahan, haha! thank GOD! "praise him for God is with us!"

this one week may seemed very long to us but now, since it's over, let's not look at how good or bad we had done for our papers but lets look forward and work hard for the rest of our exams!! i believe all of us can do our best and glorify GOD with our results! jia you everyone taking O lvls and GOD bless!

(copyright from Joo hou)
东，南，西和北， which one more 帅？

Ans: 西 cos (蟋蟀 xi shuai = cricket)

大树 and 小树, 它们差在哪里？( big tree and small tree, how are they different?)

Ans: 它们插在泥土里...

2009-10-02T19:35:00.003+08:00

oh, it's such a tiring week for me man... i tried to study hard like anyone else but just couldn't make myself study for even 1 hour!! but nvm still must jia you!! slow and steady win the race right?? (zzz stop 自我安慰 la...)

ok, what kind of meat receive the most praise??

Ans: beef! ( cos u can order WELL DONE beef)

haha, this joke is adopted frm my church leader, bro sam :)

2009-09-28T21:54:00.002+08:00

oh, it's a long time since i post.. i m getting ready for my 'o' lvls these days, so i wont be posting much, but dont worry after my exams, i will be back with dozens of jokes!! haha!

哪个号码最懒惰，哪个号码最努力呢？？

哈哈哈！答案是一最懒惰，二最努力！因为一不做，二不休！

哪个歌手制造了红绿灯呢？？

答案是王力宏! ( 黄绿红！)

jia you!

2009-09-16T12:41:00.002+08:00

ah, the answer is a male horse! cos 快马加鞭！get it? ( fast horse add BIAN- which is the penis i think)

2009-09-15T15:55:00.001+08:00

haha the answer is... the birds are ostriches! they cannot fly mah..

ah, another one. a male horse and a female horse.. which one runs faster??

2009-09-14T15:12:00.000+08:00

hohoho, i got new one! haha, but not very funny lah..

there are ten birds, xiao ming shot down one but the others didnt fly away. why???

haha, tell u guys the answer next time bah!!

2009-09-11T11:23:00.000+08:00

woah! it's been so long since i share jokes again! haha, running dry le.. hope other ppl can jus boost me up with more entertaining jokes and riddles!

here it goes.. what will a horse and a tree look like together?

Ans: Chicken! (cos digital camera in chinese =数码相机)

2009-09-04T15:25:00.000+08:00

ok! the answer is becos 男子汉敢做敢当！( 敢坐kentang!)

2009-09-02T16:52:00.002+08:00

a couple went for dinner at a potato retaurant. they got a table for two and when they decided to sit down, they saw potatoes on their seat and the woman did not dare to sit on it. however, the man sat on it. WHY???

the answer will be reviewed in the nxt post. COMIN SOON.

2009-09-01T21:23:00.000+08:00

HAPPY TEACHERS' DAY!! haha wishing all teachers a happy teachers' day! may your passion for teaching impact many more students in the future and always rmb that we students will always love you!! thank you for all your patience and guidance!!

JOKE TIME:
Qn: john is a small boy who lives on the 26th floor of a HDB flat. why can he take the lift down to the ground floor but cannot take the lift back up his house???

Ans: cos he is too short!! he can only press 1 in the lift but cannot press 26!!

2009-08-27T19:25:00.001+08:00

Answer for previous post is cos they always wave their hands in the air and nodd their heads ( as if they are greeting u!!)

2009-08-23T14:25:00.000+08:00

hey, long time no post ah! haha!

Why are those people who dance hip hop very respectful???

Guess the answer!! haha this time i am not going to tell u guys the answer right away!
haha, so stay tune!

2009-08-18T21:33:00.000+08:00

um ha um ha umm haha!! this tune has been in my mind since i watch the show tat NONO was in... haha!!

when a green bean falls frm a 50 storey high building, what will it become??

Ans: red bean! ( green bean is covered with blood!)

when a banana falls frm a 50 storet high building, what will it become??

Ans: egg plant ( cos banana got blue black.. tats why appears purple!)

2009-08-16T12:15:00.000+08:00

what type of shampoo catholics like to use???

Ans: head and shoulders ( they always do the head chest shoulders actions)

2009-08-14T17:19:00.000+08:00

hohoho very long never post lo..

which gas is always very exicted and happy??

Ans: nitrogen ( N2 - enthu!!)

which gas is always sick and unwell??

Ans: oxygen ( O2 - vomit!)

wah, i suddenly thought of something very interesting leh!! nxt time, i can post the question only and then you guys will guess the correct ans! sounds good ah, but the prob is not alot ppl see my blog except a few ppl... haha so sad.. Nvm, this is only the beginning, press in man!!

2009-08-08T22:19:00.000+08:00

joke of the week!! haha i actually shared this in church!

DEEP BLUE SEA. guess a idiom in chinese( cheng yu)

Ans: sheng bu ru si

2009-08-03T19:54:00.000+08:00

yoyoyoyo!!! which button on the key board is the most handsome???

Ans: F4!! haha get it???

when a matchstick injures his head and bandage his head, what does he become??

Ans: cotton bud!!!

haha, so high this week cos GOD jus gave me his ASSURANCE last sat during service through BRO DARREN! thank you bro darren!! hallelujah!!

2009-07-29T16:04:00.001+08:00

haha, i got this when i was on the bus!! but it is quite old lah...

why is the football stadium so hot after a football match???

Ans: cos the fans are gone!! haha!!

2009-07-28T21:04:00.001+08:00

when half boiled egg and medium rare steak meet each other, why didnt they say hi to each other??

Ans: they dont know each other well ( they not 'shou' in chinese)

2009-07-28T20:55:00.003+08:00

it's a long time since i share somemore jokes man. recently, my class is so 'emo' that it made me 'emo' also, cause emoness is contagious. however, i found the cure for it! HAPPINESS AND CHEERFULNESS is contagious as well! in fact, they are even stronger!! just like the grp I metals in the periodic table. so i going to be high and cheerful for the rest of my life and spread this contagious JOY in me!!

joke for today.

-how much $$ mus u bring with u before u can leave the house when there is 'tai feng' outside??

Ans: 40 million ( ru guo you tai feng, mei si qian wan bei chu men)

2009-07-23T19:03:00.004+08:00

hoho, no time no post!! my com spoiled and was sent for repair for the last few days lah..
come on, lets share more jokes man!

1.there is one guy call 'yep pi ya'. surname is yep, name is pi ya. he walks on the streets and sings,' yeppiyaya yeppi yeppi ya'. BANG!! someone killed him, who killed him???

Ans: shakespeare ( sha shi pi ya)

2.what animal is the most passionate??

Ans: black pig ( frm the song re qing sa mo,' wo de(or di)re qing, hao xiang yi ba huo')

3.i got this frm my friend!
there is one man who eat human meat and went to see the doctor. the doctor says he has high colesterol and must eat more vegetables. guess what veg he eat after that??

Ans: vegetable people..(zhi wu ren)

2009-07-15T20:04:00.002+08:00

what type of chicken can fly and fight??

ans: air fighter!! ( zan dou ji!)

haha another lame joke... i dont know why i like to think of jokes but i think it makes both my friends and i happy! ain't i right? jokes are 'happy things'! haha!! feel so happy now today after last night TAWG! wah, feel so encouraged and blessed and hope to know more tonight man!!

2009-07-13T15:55:00.002+08:00

well, i dont hav any jokes today but i hope to think of one soon!! so that i can share with everyone. anyway, jus feeling very empty and aimless these few days.. i dont know what's wrong with myself either but really hope this emptiness can go away forever and never come back, because it is killing me!! now, i am really looking forward for something good to happen but i know it wont happen unless i make the first move.. sigh... better go find someone i can talk to and solve this problem!

continue to have hope in the lord! as surely as the sun will rise, he'll come!

2009-07-12T17:03:00.001+08:00

Which superstar owns a farm??

Ans: Madonna!! ( oh, 'madonna' had a farm, eya eya oh! )

joke of the day!

2009-07-07T16:12:00.000+08:00

what animal is most closely related to humans?

Ans: Wolf ( lang is human in hokkien!!)

A joke again keeps a sad moment away

2009-07-05T16:04:00.000+08:00

haha, this is what is always believe in. so i am always trying to post some jokes to make people laugh and happy. oh man, as time passes, my jokes gets lesser and lesser. does that mean that i am losing my strength to bring joy to people?? i hope not, cos that is my purpose in life and i will not stop myself frm fulfilling his purpose in my generation!!

Joke of the day:
which animal is a big fat lier?

Ans: fish ( yu pian mee fen)

2009-06-22T16:21:00.000+08:00

what food kill C?
Ans: Sarsi ( sa C)

what food kill B?
Ans: Wasabi ( sa B)

general mac arthur brought his army to fight the enemy. at the frontline, he shouted,' CHIONG AH!!' but then, no one attack the enemy? why?
Ans: his army dont understand chinese!!

more jokes

2009-05-24T15:23:00.000+08:00

what kind of people have very hard stomach?
Ans: Indian ( ying du ren)

what kind of people are very 'smooth'?
Ans: Chinese ( hua ren)

what kind of people call cow, cow wont come, call goat, goat oso wont come?
Ans: Malay ( ma lai ren) only horse will come!!

what kind of people always very hungry?
Ans: beatboxer ( tu ci er ci)

the eleventh book. guess a chinese idiom?
Ans: bu ke si yi ( book si yi)

gun is blue. swords oso blue. guess a chinese idiom?
Ans: dao qiang bu ru ( sword gun blue)

which letter is a murderer?
Ans: P ( PQR)

which two letter most easy tio skin cancer?
Ans: T and W ( TUVW, nearest to UV)

which letter is before Z?
Ans: N ( Y and Z)

which letter knows the alphabets the best?
Ans: I ( now i know my ABC)

mas selamat, obama, saddam hussein and lee hsien long play mahjong tgt, who will win first??
Ans: Saddam hussein ( saddam hu sian )

if got a car, mark is the driver, claire sits beside mark and john sits behind claire, who is the owner of the car??
Ans: if ( if got a car!!)

what food in fast food restaurant loves taking photos?
Ans: cheese ( Cheese!!)

what food in fast food restaurant likes to scold ppl??
Ans: Also cheese ( qu si )

what food found in fast food restuarant loves to steal things?
Ans: burger ( burglar)

why when fireworks shoot up the sky, they cannot hit the stars?
Ans: cos xin xin hui shan

which animal has the biggest cup? (bra cup)
Ans: zebra ( Z cup bra)

which animal likes to hold on to paper?
Ans: monkey ( in chinese 'hou zi')

which animal likes to tear paper?
Ans: lion ( in chinese 'shi zi')

jokes

2007-01-08T15:18:00.000+08:00

1. at home, who help u tian fan?

ans: fei long ( cos fei long zai tian )

2. got two mountain, policeman wif a gun tat can shoot onli 1km away stand at one mountain
the other mountain stands a criminal. the distance between the mountains is 10km, y the policeman
can shoot the criminal down?

ans: cos the gun is 9km long......

3. when a boat sinks, all the dead ppl is called corpse, then those surviving ones call wad?

ans: for help....

4a. one male cow n two female cow. use 2 words to describe these cows

ans: three cows....

4b. two male cow n one female cow. use 3 words to describe these cows

ans: still three cows.....

5. monk comb hair. guess a country.

ans: is scottland ( shu ge lan )

6. wolf come liao. guess a fruit.

ans: starfruit ( yang tao )

7. sheep come liao. guess a fruit.

ans: strawberry ( cao mei )